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Death - As Seen On TV How to explain celebrity deaths to your inquisitive child 
The news of Michael Jackson's recent death was hard to avoid whether you watched television, skimmed the magazine covers in the supermarket checkout or eavesdropped on conversations at the bus stop. The same is true, although to a lesser extent, whenever a celebrity dies, especially when the death is sudden. As an adult, you have the maturity to understand how a popular personality's passing affects you. However, your child is exposed to many of the same discussions, even if you never introduce the subject. This could be a challenge and an opportunity for you and your child. "Assume your child has heard things, especially the Michael Jackson death. Children hear from the media, from children on the playground," says Ted Lampert, president of Children Now, a national research and advocacy organization, Oakland, Calif. Unlike you, your child may not be able to put the death into context. You child may worry about what a famous person's death means to him and to you, his parents. To help your child, you should discuss these events, say experts on children's wellbeing. Although you may be wary of talking about death with a young child, you can find ways to approach the subject while making the child feel more secure, says Gerry Koocher, Ph.D, Dean and Professor, School of Health Sciences, Simmons College, Boston. Explain the death in context, Koocher says. If your child doesn't know who the celebrity is, tell a little about the person. You can say that Michael Jackson was a singer who had a lot of songs people liked or that Heath Ledger was an actor in such movies as "A Knight's Tale" that the family enjoyed. Your child may associate you with the celebrity and worry about your longevity. Explain that the celebrity died at an early age. Normally people die when they're very old. "Talk about the things you do to stay healthy; you're not like a celebrity who dies," Koocher says. Be careful of figures of speech when you're addressing a young child. "If you say death is like going to sleep you may make the child fearful of sleep," says Koocher, who works with children who are dealing with bereavement. While you and your child are having the conversation, you may find a teachable moment when you can pass along an important lesson, say Lampert and Koocher. For Lampert, Jackson's death created an opportunity with his own children to discuss how important it is to take medicine appropriately. A celebrity's death may inspire fundraising for a particular cause, which you can describe as a positive thing. But if you're not sure whether your child has hidden concerns about what he's hearing, introduce the subject. "If you're watching the news and if there's another mention of a celebrity death, you can say, 'that's so sad, isn't it?' or you can say 'what do you think of this Michael Jackson thing?' "If the child picks up on it, you can talk about it," Koocher says.
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Bev Bennett, a veteran food writer and editor, is the author of "Dinner for Two: A Cookbook for Couples" and "30-Minute Meals for Dummies"
